I just want to start out by saying that when I found out I was pregnant, I was completely open to the idea of nursing all throughout pregnancy and possibly even tandem nursing when the baby arrives…but I think my body had other thoughts, which has led us to where we are today. Mother’s Day 2008 marked the beginning of no more “mamas” for Ethan.

For the past couple of months, every time he latched on I gritted my teeth trying to withstand the sharp pains I was getting through the whole nursing session, and if that pain was not bad enough, then the biting started. At first I thought it was not intentional, but here recently I think he would bite me because he was trying all methods to try to get more milk out. I would literally scream in pain and immediatly check to see if he drew blood. All those things were signs that my body was telling me enough was enough. I do not feel guilty, and suprisingly, I do not really feel sad either. We had 16 months of a wonderful nursing relationship.

I was terrified of how naps and night time would go, since I would normally nurse him to sleep. Once again he has suprised me and has not really thrown much of a fit. He just is really restless before falling asleep, tossing and turning in all directions around the bed before snuggling up to me and settling down and eventually drifting off to sleep. And I must add that the past two nights with no nursing have been the calmest, quietest nights for him, almost sleeping entirely through the night, which has practically never happened before. Coincidence, I’m not sure.

Now, a note to say that he does still use a binky sometimes at night, which I think will help us through this rough time for him. Then it will be time to say…”Bye Bye Pacifier” like the book we have been reading for a while now. I think we’ll just take one thing at a time for now. He has always been a child from day one that has had an intense need for sucking. And believe me, the pacifier did not replace the breast for us…he would still nurse every hour for oh..about the first year of his life.

I will be so curious to see what this next child is going to be like. I don’t want to get my hopes up, but I’m hoping we can be blessed with a child that can self soothe. We’re getting there with Ethan. It has just been a really long road to this point. He is growing up, and I see all these changes everyday proving that.

It is so nice to have my breasts to myself again, at least for the next 5 mths. I think we will have a weaning celebration party for Ethan this next weekend. We will follow the tradition of his father’s footsteps on this one. (Gabe’s parent’s had a weaning party for him at apprx the same age, because his mother was pregnant with the next child and couldn’t take nursing and growing a child at the same time…I guess as the story goes, after making it a really big deal for Gabe, he did quit cold turkey after his party)