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Got the call today from my midwife after she consulted with the specialist, and was determined by both of them that it indeed to risky to go forward with a homebirth at this point. I feel like I am processing all this information with a very open mind and open heart, and feel good about the decision. Of course it is a pain in the butt to now try to find an OB who will take me on and which hospital we will choose, etc…oh, and not to mention the whole no Maternity coverage health insurance thing…but I believe it will all get worked out in the end.

Some things in life happen for reasons unknown to us, and I can either be mad and fight it, or process it and move forward with a positive outlook. I choose to move forward knowing that I am a strong, intelligent woman, who will birth this baby just fine no matter where we are at.

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So I could dedicate an entire post to my trip to the ER last Tuesday and the 2 nights of hospital stay that followed, but I am not going to. To think back to it all the time brings me stress, and stress is what I am trying to stay away from from now until my baby decides to be born.

Right now I am 35 weeks along, and 37 is considered “full term”, and safe time for having a home birth. We still really want to have a home birth, but there are a few things we need to find out from the specialist over at Methodist first, just to make sure that that is still a safe option for both myself and for the baby. I know that bleeding is something that no one wants to see in pregnancy, and up until now, I’ve never had to deal with this rollercoaster. Since Friday morning I have pretty much been “blood free”, and now this morning there is some brown spotting. Not alot at all, but it is there. At least it is brown, and not red. I just don’t know what is considered safe, or normal, for me right now, so it is easy to get worried about anything. As long as my baby is telling me he is fine, that is reassuring. He is still actively moving and is head down. Taking care of a toddler and trying to take care of yourself is not an easy task. He still likes to be picked up from mom and dad, only now, mom is saying NO. Like right now, I feel bad that he is sitting in front of the T.V., but I just feel really limited to the activities I can/should be doing with him right now…a little T.V. over the next couple of weeks is not going to kill him, right?

I have been journaling about all of this, and it is helping me process it all and working through it. I just felt the need to get on this morning and write a little bit to “get it out” and move on with my day.

So I have been making this tea now for about the last three weeks which consists of about half nettle, half red raspberry leaf. I make a really strong brew and drink it iced, no sweetener for me. I was sopost to be adding yellow dock root to it as well, but the first batch with that stuff tasted so nasty I couldn’t choke it down, so I’m omitting it altogether. Both Red raspberry Leaf and Nettles have wonderful healing qualities, that happen to be especially helpful to pregnant women in aiding with blood building and toning of the uterus. We are trying to take precautionary measures this time around to prevent PP Hemmorage, cause ya know…I just don’t really feel like dealing with that again!

The tea really doesn’t taste bad at all, just kind of earthy and grassy. Funny thing is, both my son and my husband love it too…so I have been making alot of it lately.

Yesterday at my MW appt one of the things we were chatting about was food, and all the hidden junk that is in it.  Since both myself and my midwife have little toddler sons running around, we are at the same point as far as trying to find them healthy snacks and staying away from the sugar.  It was a really good talk that prompted me to come home and raid my cupboards and look at all the ingredients on certain items and check for all the hidden dyes, and especially high fructose corn syrup.  Yep, it’s in nearly everything alright!  So today I went to the health food store and restocked on all the things I tossed like ketchup, peanut butter, syrup, just to name a few.  Both my hubby and my son are big snackers, and so I am trying really hard to come up with more healthy options for them.  We have been buying lots of fruit, and veggies that I give to them with dip of course…and today I stocked up on nuts and dried fruits..ok so I spent a fortune on them, and knowing my hubby’s appetite, he could probably eat them all in like 3-4 days..but hey, he is the one who pays the bills, so if he is ok with that, more power to him!

I guess more than anything, I like the fact that I am becoming much more aware of what we put in our mouth’s everyday, especially now that we have a already hyper active little boy, who doesn’t need the added sugar in his body.  I am trying to find some sort of middle ground, because I can not control every little thing, and I really don’t want to, but by making these little changes I feel like we are moving in the right direction.

Two days ago I started to get a scratchy throat. I immediately woke up in the middle of the night to gargle some apple cider vinegar. (Yum, Yum!) I really believe in that stuff. It really relieves the pain, and the sore throat went away really fast…but then the runny nose started. That is where I am at right now. I am a snot factory in overdrive. This sucks. I hate getting a cold in the summertime. I can’t taste anything. I made the lunches for Gabe this morning, and first tried tasting my Quoina salad and my curry chicken salad for the wraps, and it all tasted bland..so I added a bit of salt. Who knows, it could be so salty it is inedible!! I hope not. Guess I should have had Gabe help me with that part, oh well, I’m sure I’ll get my review later!

Better go make myself some cold care tea and try to go back to bed while I still have the chance.

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Today marks a week since I’ve been making a daily “green” smoothie for breakfast. I joined a Smoothie Challenge that didn’t officially start until yesterday, but I got a running start on it. The Challenge encourages you to make at least one green smoothie daily for the entire month.

I now keep my freezer stocked with frozen fruits of all varieties and a fridge full of healthy greens. I must say I was a bit hesitant about the “greens” part, but now I’m hooked! Gabe prefers his made with a little less green than me, but I love the idea of starting my day off with so many healthy, beneficial nutrients. I have also noticed that I am not having that many in between meal cravings either.

So far I have experimented with kale, spinach, romaine, and parsley. I think my favorite so far is the one with 2 oranges, handful of strawberries, a few bananas, water,and 5 leaves of kale. Even Ethan likes them, which makes me feel great knowing how good they are for him. Wonder what delicious concoction I will make next!

Yes, today Ethan has his first real fever. I could tell he was acting strange from the moment he woke up this morning, and the fact that he fell asleep after being awake for only two hours. Then, as I crawled into bed to comfort him, I could feel his body on fire. He has been sleeping for most of the day. He is just not himself, but obviously not too ill not to enjoy his new Curious George movie, or to nurse constantly.

Why do fevers scare us so much? I think it is just natural that as parents we hate seeing our children suffer at all. But I keep reminding myself that the sign of a fever is actually a good thing, not bad…well I think you know what I mean. It means that his body is heating up to fight off whatever kind of bacteria or infection is trying to invade. Aren’t our bodies abilities to heal amazing!

I know that this is just the beginning of many sicknesses and injuries that we will endure watching our little man grow, so I must brace myself and remember that it is all normal, and very natural.

Being a parent is about being vulnerable. I find myself feeling this way often. Thank goodness for such a great support system of friends and family to help us talk these things through.